Edmunds: Managing your business and family

Several weeks ago I visited a friend who is running her business while parenting three teenagers. She said she works hard and puts in long hours and her business is doing great. But her kids are doing poorly in school and are staying out late. She indicated that she felt overwhelmed and under tremendous stress and didn't know what to do. Her husband died several years ago and she has no help with her kids and she needs to work to support the family. And she believes that she has to work long hours, but is at a lost as to how she can cut back her time at her company.

I have listened to these kinds of problems many times and so far my response hasn't changed; long hours do not equal success. You don't have to work hard to be successful. But you do have to work smart. Working smart lets you achieve a healthy balance between business and personal matters.

Many presumably successful entrepreneurs complain that their children are getting into trouble or their marriage is falling apart because they are spending too much time with their business.

The purpose of owning a business is to provide support for yourself and your family. Therefore the welfare of the family and in this case the children are a high priority. Viewed this way, you put your business in proper perspective.

Sometimes we get programmed with the myths about entrepreneurs: We have to put in super long hours; we have to work extra hard; we have to do everything ourselves. None of these things apply to every small business owner.

There are no one-size fits all rules that apply to everyone. I suggested my friend step back and take a look at her own situation and behavior and realize what changes she needed to make to bring her life and her family's life into balance. In order to do this she should first become aware of herself, her actions and her thoughts.

Management, like charity, begins at home. Before we can successfully manage a business, we must be able to manage ourselves. A profitable busine! ss and a failed family is not only unbalanced, it is not successsful.

If from time to time you find yourself in my friend's situation there are steps you can take to make corrections and bring balance to your life so both you and your family can live better and happier.

• Start with getting your employees to share the load so that you can go home earlier. Or maybe it's time to hire additional help. Sometimes when we evaluate what tasks we are doing, we discover that it might be better to outsource that task. I have a friend who is a working writer but she gets stressed out and constantly pushing hard to meet deadlines. While having lunch one day I discovered that she spends time working on her website and blog when she should be meeting her deadline. Contracting someone to do these things could relieve some of her stress.

• Take a look at how you set goals. Sometimes we set goals that are so high and unrealistic, that we have to work long hours to come anywhere near reaching the goal. A 2% increase in business over last year may be more realistic than a 25% increase.

• Create a teamwork environment at home and allow our children and spouse to feel like a part of your business life as well as your home life. It might help to give them work to do around your business. During my daughter's school years, she came to my office immediately after school and sat at a desk I had there for her and first did her homework. After the homework was complete she filed papers for me. After she finished, we went home together, prepared our meal together, and sat down to the table as a family.

Parenting is not easy, and when there is only one parent and that parent works, the task is harder still. We must figure out ways to include our children into our lives and get involved in their lives.

It is easy to get caught up in the busy life of our work. And when that happens other parts of our lives can get out of our control. One thing that I have found helpful is to make a! list of ! the aspects of life that are important to us. I give my clients such a list and it includes the following: career, health/fitness, learning, family, social/friends, spiritual, and financial. These are seven parts of living that I have identified as important, you might have others that are not listed. I have my clients review how they have addressed each part during the course of a week so that no one part overshadows the other without their awareness.

If you can have a way to check in to see how you are relating to the various parts of your life it will help to keep stress down, kids in line, a happier spouse and a better life.

Gladys Edmunds, founder of Edmunds Travel Consultants in Pittsburgh, is an author and coach/consultant in business development. Her column appears Wednesdays. E-mail her at gladys@gladysedmunds.com. An archive of her columns is here. Her website is gladysedmunds.com.