Nobody wants to be that hothead who flies off the handle in the face of some everyday annoyance, causing others to roll their eyes and wonder, "What's wrong with him?"
But people who experience extreme reactions to stress�from a racing heart to full-blown rage�may be hard-wired to do so, researchers are finding. It isn't known how many people are highly reactive to stress, but the tendency can endure for years or a lifetime.
People who overreact often can't explain why a minor project setback or a child's spilled juice can unleash a volcanic response.
"They think they're weird, wondering, 'Why don't other people react like this?' " says Lois Barth, a New York-based life coach who works with stress-reactive people on performing better at work and reaching personal goals. "But many people can't help it."
Getty Images'Stress reactors' have outsize responses to everyday pressures and annoyances.
Calming strategies for people who tend to have a big reaction to stress:
- Try to be aware of what situations most stress you out.
- Set daily routines that minimize hot-button stress moments such as traffic jams or last-minute deadlines.
- When you feel yourself about to have a stress outburst, try to replace negative or fearful thoughts with positive ones.
- Breathe deeply from the diaphragm when stressed, which activates the body's natural calming signals.
- Build enjoyable exercise into your daily routine. Aim for at least half an hour five days a week.
Children who grow up amid parental conflict, harsh punishment or instability�or who are raised by anxious, intrusive parents�often develop a lifelong attitude of vigilance for threats and hazards, according to a 2011 study in Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews, which drew on about 400 published peer-reviewed papers. Such a background can predispose people to respond more quickly and vehemently when a perceived problem arises, the study says.
A normal stress response entails a speeding-up of the heart rate and breathing, followed by a rise in bloodstream levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Within an hour or two after the stressor subsides, these indicators typically fall back to normal. People who exhibit a highly reactive "vigilant" pattern, however, show a bigger, sharper response and calm down less readily.
Some become defensive or aggressive, while others become fearful and withdrawn, says the study, led by Marco Del Giudice, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Turin in Italy. It isn't known what proportion of the population is wired this way. A study of 256 children, published last year in Developmental Psychology, found 10% fit the vigilant pattern.
"A vigilant person is hypersensitive, reacting at a biological level and putting more effort and energy into warding off threats, real or perceived," says Bruce J. Ellis, a co-author of the study and a professor of family and consumer sciences at the University of Arizona in Tucson.
"Understanding that different people are programmed to react differently to stress can help individuals understand their own behavior and manage their health, relationships and decisions," says Dr. Ellis.
An extreme or chronic stress response, for example, is linked to heart disease, digestive problems and hypertension.
But it can also be adaptive, helping people perform well in the face of threats, Dr. Ellis says. Animal studies show baby rats who receive less care and grooming by their mothers in infancy tend to have higher levels of stress hormones, and to perform more poorly than other rats when calm, he says. But under stress, they perform better, showing improved learning and memory.
Victoria Pynchon was immersed in parental fighting as a child, conditioning her to argue as well as anticipate and react promptly to threats, she says. As an adult, she chose to become a corporate litigator, a profession in which being argumentative is an advantage, says Ms. Pynchon, of Los Angeles. "To be combative, to refuse to cooperate, to respond sharply when someone on the other side is being a jerk to you, is part of the game." She says she often met challenges with anger, at work and beyond.
More- Sue Shellenbarger answers readers' questions
Stress-response patterns aren't set in stone, says Dr. Del Guidice. Some life transitions, such as entering puberty, trigger hormonal changes that may alter the stress response. Also, people may become more or less reactive if their environment changes.
Most stress-reactive people become aware early that they spend more time being angry and worked up than others. The resulting anxiety and health problems often spark a search for remedies. "They really have to understand their wiring in order to dial it down," Ms. Barth says.
When Ms. Pynchon realized after 12 years as a lawyer that her work stress was fueling health problems, she shifted gears and began writing fiction to "re-connect with my creative spirit," she says. She also found more rewarding work as a mediator and co-founded She Negotiates, a negotiation-training firm.
Working with New York stress-management consultant Judy Martin, she began exercising daily and practicing meditation while walking or swimming. Instead of lashing out when challenged, she pauses to notice "the moment, maybe just a nanosecond, when you make the decision whether you're going to blow up or walk away," says Ms. Pynchon. "And I've been able more and more to capture that moment, and do something different."
Psychotherapist Robert Lawrence Friedman, president of Stress Solutions, a Forest Hills, N.Y., training and consulting firm, teaches clients a similar, four-step method to "put on the brakes," starting with thinking or saying aloud the word "stop." Then, he says, they should take a deep breath, focus on what they're thinking, then consciously replace any angry or fearful thoughts with the most positive one they could have.
Mr. Friedman says one client used the technique when a truck cut him off on the highway. Instead of flying into road rage, the man deliberately told himself "making that turn was obviously more important to him than driving safely. Who cares? I'm fine."
Tinkering with daily routines can also help. Some stress-reactive people time their commutes to avoid traffic, set time limits on stressful meetings or schedule onerous tasks at times when they aren't tired or hungry, says Ms. Martin, founder of WorkLifeNation.com, a website on managing stress.
She recommends planning breaks to ease frustration and renew energy. These could consist of three- to seven-minute deep-breathing exercises for relaxation, a calming walk or other pursuits that lend meaning or perspective. One manager she worked with took breaks to write humorous haiku poems about office life.
Some stress-reactive people restructure their lives. One New York City woman says she's planning to move her entire family to a smaller town in Arizona this spring, with a goal of reducing tensions and conflict in her environment.
To be sure, people who are innately sensitive to stress don't always become overreactive. Some grow up in safe, nurturing environments, and although they react swiftly to challenges, they have more self-control and calm down quickly, the study says. Childhood adversity doesn't always hard-wire people to be stress reactors, either. Some kids grow up in somewhat stressful environments but manage to cope. According to the 2011 study, they have a more muted or "buffered" stress response.
Write to Sue Shellenbarger at sue.shellenbarger@wsj.com
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